This was pinched from CFASTREAM and modified for SA, It's scary how many of these apply to my brigade
You've ever wanted to fit a smaller tank to your Tanker so that you
could carry more gear.
You've ever considered not responding to a call-out because you've
just hot-waxed the tanker.
Your last three captains have moved on to Region positions, or are now
working at HQ.
You have conducted a serious debate on the relative merits of hard
and soft suction that lasted for over 90 minutes,, your SOP on this issue
changes annually......... but you're a little vague on open-source
draughting.
All of your 4wd vehicles are fitted with "h" speed-rated highway
tyres.
Your station is double-brick and has a recreation room that is
larger than the garage-space.
Your station is equipped with a full-sized billiard table and a
coke-machine that dispenses at least six brands of beer.
You have a spare set of yellows and boots that are kept clean for
wearing when the Cheif Officer visits.
You are on first-name terms with at least 75% of the inmates of
The big Shed and the Chief officer recognises you when you're "out-of-uniform".
You've suggested that CFS merchandise should include approved
underwear that are Proban treated and embroidered with the CFS crest.
You think that such underwear would be "sexy".
You can turn directly to any location in your UBD Directory
without consulting the index map,,,, but have difficulty folding a
map-sheet.
You consider it a weakness that your GPS doesn't give map references
in UBD format.
You keep your Strike Team bag packed all year round.
Your tanker's kit includes a cricket bat and ball...... permanently.
Your brigade holds an annual brainstorming session to find uses for the budget surplus.
Your captain holds 37 different qualifications but has not
experienced a bush/grass-fire larger than 2.8 hectares.
You go to a fashion show and come home with at least 3 different
ideas for the design of PPE and CFS merchandise.
The last debate on "one piece" vs. "two piece" was with regard to
the official swimsuits to be worn by the female members crewing the fireboat on PR exercises.
The Smog Index is more important than the Fire Weather Forecast when planning burn-offs.
You've ever had a water-fight with a neighbouring brigade/service
because they attended an incident in your territory
You've ever had a fist-fight for the same reason.
You've ever been to court for the same reason.
All of the above, but you were in their territory.....
MFS considers your territory worth taking over.
You've ever reported your barbecue as an "incident" to boost your
tally.
Visitors from the country get strangely excited when you allow them to
salvage gear that you were going to cart to the tip next weekend.
When showing visitors from the country around your station, you
consider it prudent to give them a two-person escort at all times and a body search when they leave.
You find the 1995 SOPs and are shocked to see that three of them
have not been changed in the last 10 years.
Your book of radio codes has expanded to 87 pages,, but you still
maintain that it "simplifies communications".
Your wife has been heard to express annoyance at your use of numeric codes to define the status of the baby's nappy, the roast in the oven,,,, and her new hairstyle.
You consider CFS merchandise suitable apparel for weddings and
funerals.
You average more than 10 posts a week on Firefighter Discussion Boards.
Your VFBA branch meets monthly.
You have a list of EPA tested and approved sources of water for use
in "Sensitive" areas.
You have at least a dozen alternative meanings for the acronym
"GRN",, 90% of which are derogatory.
You feel that the bull-bar on your new tanker "spoils its
lines" and that it doesn't have any real purpose.
You can't recall seeing a tanker with more than 5,000 kilometres on the odometer outside of a museum.
Your family Commodore is "Fire Brigade Red",,,, but only because
"Bushfire Orange" is not an option that Holden offer.
Keeping up with the brigade next door is considered a valid reason
to upgrade your two-year-old Isuzu.
You've declared a tanker Unfit for Service because the
air-conditioner broke down.
You think that 5 years in the brigade should qualify you for a
long-service pin.
Your pumper is the primary vehicle to all incidents including grass and scrub fires.
When your supporting another brigade to a G&S and are asked to return your Pumper to station and bring your Tanker you argue the point.
All your Rakehoes are the screw together type.
