JOKES

[oz fire]

Everyone needs a little humour to help the day along!
The world is full of jokes from the eneregecy service industry!
What a great place to share some 

[oz fire]

Three emergency service workers are down to the last round of millionaire with Eddie (Everwhere) McQuire. Scores are tied and Eddie reads the last question:

The wineer will be the one who can count to ten:

Eddie asks the Ambo to start:

1,2,3,4,5 breath ....... 1,2,3,4,5 breath.

Sorry says Eddie, great try but not quite there, next

The Police office stands up,

I'll go .....   1,2,3,4,5,6 re load ...... 1,2,3,4,5,6 reload.

Sorry says Eddie, two down, last contestant it's up to you.

The fire fighter stands up,

"this will be easy ...... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10"

Incredible says Eddie, fantastic effort, you made it to ten, first go, can you continue past ten

Sure ........ Jack, Queen, King Ace .........

[oz fire]

You Might Be A Redneck Fire Department If...
 
Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing to the scene.
You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
Your firehouse has wheels.
You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire getting drunk.
You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their land.
Your personal vehicle has more blue lights on it than your house has in it.
You've ever walked through a Christmas display and came up with more than one new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.
Your rescue truck can smoke the tires.
Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.
Dispatch can't mention your companies name with out laughing.
The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarrassed them last time.
You've ever referred to a light bar as sweet.
Your defibrillator consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery and a fish finder.
You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.
Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.
Your pumper smokes more than the house fire.
You've ever been arrested for indecent exposure at a house fire.
The primary color of your company engines is "bondo".
Your new $500,000.00 ladder truck was custom ordered with a spit cup holder.
The Chief's car has a rag for a gas cap.
If your apparatus has NASCAR driver numbers on them.
Some of your 5" hard hose was converted into a fly fishing rod holder.
Before your apparatus leaves the station on a call, the senior officer says, "Gentlemen, start your engines.
The Assistant Chief's hunting dogs cost more than all the apparatus combined.
Fire fighters punishment consist of taking away their chewing tobacco.
Your apparatus has carbon monoxide detectors mounted INSIDE the cab.
You return from a fire with more junk than you responded with.
Your job shirts are "3X-Large" but should be "5X-Large".

[oz fire]

Fire Escapes, How Do You Rank?
 
Chief
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God.

Deputy Chief
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God.

Regional Commander
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved.

Group Officer
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God.

Deputy Group Officer
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

Captain
Runs into buildings
Recognises locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls.

Lieutenant
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says, "Look at th choo-choo"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself.

Firefighter
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
HE IS GOD!!!!!

[PF_]

Do you think thats a bit of an innundo
Maybe thats the new PPE Mike Rann was talking about