Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - SA Firey

Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9
101
Fire Stations and SES Units / SACFS Monarto
« on: August 21, 2007, 08:31:10 AM »
Monarto CFS

Group-Swanport

Appliances

Monarto 24P

102
Fire Stations and SES Units / SACFS Ardrossan
« on: August 13, 2007, 01:32:54 AM »
Ardrossan CFS celebrated their 60th Anniversary Sunday 12th August

Chief Officer Euan Ferguson presented certificates and awards for 10,15,20,25,30,35,45 years service

Keys to the brigades 24P & 34 were officially handed over to Captain Greg Vanderpeer

Approximately 50 guests attended

103
Fire Stations and SES Units / SACFS Mallala
« on: August 13, 2007, 01:28:16 AM »
Mallala Station

104
Fire Stations and SES Units / SACFS Balaklava
« on: August 13, 2007, 01:26:56 AM »
Balaklava Station

Appliances

Balaklava 24
Balaklava 24P

105
Emergency Vehicles / Ardrossan 24P & 34
« on: August 13, 2007, 01:23:46 AM »
Ardrossan 24P & 34

106
The Humour Zone / New Medical Info
« on: August 11, 2007, 04:09:18 PM »
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

107
The Humour Zone / Your licence tells it all.......
« on: August 06, 2007, 11:24:43 PM »
A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date..

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied.

"It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it.."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly,"I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"


"Because you got an F in sex."

 :-D

108
Incident Operations / SACFS-Ghan truck crash explodes
« on: August 06, 2007, 03:13:23 PM »
http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,22196154-5006301,00.html

A TRUCKIE has had an amazing escape this morning after his vehicle collided with the Ghan passenger train north of Adelaide and exploded into segments.

The truck driver, who worked for a septic waste removal company, is in a stable condition in hospital with chest injuries and has been taken by road to the Royal Adelaide Hospital.

The incident occurred at a crossing on the Two Wells to Mallala Road just before midday, as the truck driver was turning right into a private property.

Trainspotter Matthew Stewart, who missed capturing the crash on video by mere seconds, said: “It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. The truck exploded in segments. It all happened in slow motion. The truck just did not stop at all.”


A Ghan employee has been treated  for minor injuries at the scene and there were  no immediate reports on any injuries to passengers. However, many of the 163 passengers and the train driver were badly shaken. They are being taken by bus back to Adelaide.

It follows a serious crash involving the Ghan in Adelaide's northern suburbs in 2002 when four people were killed, and an incident in the Northern Territory in December last year when the train hit a truck at a level crossing.

The truck driver and three passengers from the Ghan were hospitalised after that crash, 130km south of Darwin.


Appliances in attendance
Two Wells 34
Dublin 24
Dublin Rescue
Mallala
Virginia 34
Woolsheds 34

A lucky boy to get out alive :-o

109
The Humour Zone / Four proud Dads
« on: August 01, 2007, 11:32:01 AM »
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who
remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics
and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and
now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."


The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight
school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."


The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."


The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the
three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him......


......and he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. :-D

110
The Humour Zone / Blonde Joke
« on: July 15, 2007, 04:22:30 PM »
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

111
The Humour Zone / Long but worth the wait
« on: July 11, 2007, 03:11:17 PM »
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate



Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally would recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, IT Support ------------------


Dear IT Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Boy's Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5 and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other
they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiance 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use
up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2007.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically
stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Classic

112
The Humour Zone / Honeymoon
« on: July 11, 2007, 03:01:58 PM »
Seamus O'Malley is playing golf when he takes a hard struck golf ball
right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as
he could manage, he took himself to Doctor O'Connor.

"How bad is it doctor?" asks O'Malley, "I'm going on my honeymoon next week
and my girlfriend is a virgin in every way."

"I'll have to put your penis in a splint, Seamus, to let it heal and keep it
straight. Sure, it'll be fine by next week."

The doctor takes four tongue compressors and forms a neat little 4-sided
bandage and wires it all together. "An impressive work of art," says the
good doctor.

Seamus says nothing of this to his girlfriend, marries and goes off on his
honeymoon.

That night in the hotel room she rips off her blouse to revel a gorgeous set
of breasts, a sight Seamus had not seen before.

"You're the first, Seamus. No one has ever touched these breasts."

Seamus promptly drops his pants and replies,

"Would you look at this --it's still in the CRATE!."
 :-D

113
The Humour Zone / Its what they do
« on: July 11, 2007, 02:57:46 PM »
A man walks into a market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 20 cent coin in the air and catching it between his teeth.

As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat.

He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.

A middle-aged, fairly unnoticeable man in a grey suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market.

Reaching the boy, the man carefully takes hold of the kid's balls and squeezes gently but firmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the 20 cent piece, which the man catches in his free hand. Releasing the boy, the man hands the coin to the father and walks back to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill-effects, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him saying: "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before - it's fantastic - Are you a doctor?"

"Oh, good heavens, no," the man replies, "I work for the Australian Taxation Office".

114
The Humour Zone / Red Head
« on: July 11, 2007, 02:54:24 PM »
THE REDHEAD

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead
sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat
down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket
toward the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in
place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the
theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her
deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to
her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The
guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to
every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. . . ..

She says:


"You just happened to catch my eye."

115
SAMFS and CFS crews have rushed to a reported commercial fire at Hungry Jacks at Paralowie.Reported just before 18:30 hrs on Liberator Drive crews found the building well alight on arrival.

The fire has travelled through the entire roofspace

Appliances in attendance

Salisbury 24P
Salisbury 321
Salisbury 329
Elizabeth 331
HQ2015
HQ206
HQ2090
HQ Car 31
Woodville 243
MFS Fire Cause Investigator
SAAS in attendance

Multiple 64mm lines and BA are in use.The roof of the structure has now collapsed, and the incident has been divided into two sectors

116
Fire Stations and SES Units / SACFS Hermitage
« on: July 06, 2007, 10:57:26 PM »
Hermitage CFS Station

117
Fire Stations and SES Units / SACFS Paracombe
« on: July 06, 2007, 10:55:48 PM »
Paracombe CFS

118
Fire Stations and SES Units / SACFS Tea Tree Gully
« on: July 06, 2007, 10:53:29 PM »
Tea Tree Gully Station

119
Emergency Vehicles / Two Wells 34
« on: July 06, 2007, 10:49:50 PM »
The new Two Wells 34

120
OFF Topic / High Fire Danger
« on: July 03, 2007, 11:44:28 PM »
HIGH FIRE DANGER

June 25, 2007
EDINBURG, Texas: Firemen attending a warehouse blaze got stoned while trying to put out more than a tonne of burning marijuana.
Local Fire Chief Shawn Snider said his men would have failed a drug test, despite wearing breathing gear.
He said there had been no shortage of volunteers from the county's three fire departments to attend the blaze.

121
Incident Operations / 2nd Alarm House Fire Charleston
« on: May 17, 2007, 02:21:02 AM »
1909021 23:39:35 16-05-07 SHQ: *CFSRES: WOODSIDE & LOBETHAL & BALHANNAH RESPOND HOUSE FIRE, 64 ONKAPARINGA VALLEY ROAD, CHARLESTON HOUSE NEXT DOOR 

1916089 23:41:38 16-05-07 W181 Cat2 64 Onkaparinga Valley Rd, Charleston 125 H8 SAAS Woodside

1909019 23:55:02 16-05-07 SHQ: SHQ: *CFSRES: MOUNT TORRENS & LENSWOOD RESPOND 2ND ALARM HOUSE FIRE, 64 ONKAPARINGA VALLEY ROAD, CHARLESTON, ASSIST BALHANNAH, LOBETHAL & WOODSIDE . VHF 140 

Sounds like this job is going very well and that should be GRN140


122
Incidents / MVA Tapleys Hill Rd Lockleys
« on: May 04, 2007, 01:18:16 AM »
Truck vs Stobie

No injuries

123
Emergency Vehicles / SACFS Woodside 24P
« on: May 04, 2007, 01:13:09 AM »
Woodside 24P

124
Emergency Vehicles / SES Noarlunga 382
« on: May 04, 2007, 01:07:58 AM »
Noarlunga 382

125
Emergency Vehicles / SAMFS St Marys 401
« on: May 04, 2007, 01:00:05 AM »
St Marys 401 Scania 93M

Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9
anything