SA Firefighter
General Discussion => OFF Topic => Topic started by: Camo on August 02, 2006, 05:52:59 PM
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Hey There,
This is a continuing story where a person adds a few sentences(Not a page!) to the story and the next person continues on. Being this is a fire fighter website i would presume it would go down that track but up to you. Try not to end the story, that just ruins the fun! :-D
Ill Start
<<<<<
It was a cold wet windy night in the town of Friars. Fred and Wilma were both asleep in bed unaware of the happenings at the local store. >>>>>>
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the local shop owner was cleaning up spilt red cordial before it got sticky and stained his new floors when suddenly...
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his mop handle broke, sending wood chips every where, which disturbed the...
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man with a gun about to hold up the place.
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The man snapped, shooting wildly, injuring the....
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cat which was well known as the mascot for the local store. He then run out of ammo, and suddently..
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remembered he'd just stopped in for some milk
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seizing the opportunity, he grabbed his milk and sprinted off when..
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he was hit by a police car, on their way to pick up some....
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hookers :-o, but he ended out in the back of an ambulance. being treated by...
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nurse funbags while a shocked officer nasty looked on in horror at the...
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shop owner lying dead on the shop floor, a piece of mop handle sticking right through his left eye...
(how is that for a 180degree turn around in the direction and emotion of the story :-P )
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Something distracted him; it was the injured cat lapping at the spilt milk...
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Officer nasty let out a chuckle and said to his partner, "well this little pussy sure aint cryin over spilt milk."
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officer nasty then ripped off her top and said "lets.....
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..get it on!" and with that he started to..
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Once the exchange of clothing was complete they looked at each others appearance, and wondered if cross-dressing should become a regular occurance for them.
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(thanks mike, that could have got a little too rude for this site :evil:)
It was the previous night in which he had watched the rocky horror picture show, and this could possibly explain his actions. But what the people at the scene were not aware of was that....
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the night before he had been dr frankenfurter, singing a showy number called...
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'swinging in the rain', a catchy tune about the weather, a man and his...
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love for a lamp. this mans name was...
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Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced "Albin" and yes it is actually a registed name, look at it in google.)
This man was very
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Lonely, he often like to walk past the local pub and wish....
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he could get a free
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beer with every sheila he picked up!
Now, that would be a great deal! he said to himself.
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but alas the only people interested were the local ladies living on the second floor of the pub...
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and he wasnt even sure they were ladies! :-o
(isnt it funny, I was reading one of these on an army cadets forum when I was really bored one day and all they could talk about was guns and bombs and army stuff. When you get a forum with older people the talk is all of a sexual orientation. oh well, no one is complaining :evil: :mrgreen: )
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Pf i understand if you haven't reached that stage of your life yet.... :lol: :-P
So he kept walking back to his house when he noticed a fire....(there you go something more suitable for this site :roll:)
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burning comfortably in the fireplace of two elderly people. But when he looked closer he saw them on the ground.....(the dirty factors up to the next poster) :lol:
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He Then Realised That It Was A Chimney Fire And They Were On The Ground Crawling Out Of The House Due To The Smoke. When All Of A Sudden...
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BANG... he was hit by a falling piano.
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Luckily he had some sheet music with him
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He removed himself out of under the piano and began playing the sheet music.
Then two firefighters came running in and one said to the other "gee this bloke must have concussion cause that music is really sheet!!"
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But then the fire fighters got a more important call to go to, the cat that was shot, got stuck up a tree :-o, So they set off with their lights and sirens to go and rescue the cat, but on the way....
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The orange people cut them off at the intersection and said, "This is our job, back off", but the firies continued on racing them, but before anyone could get to the cat..........
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it died
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and fell out of the tree onto an elderly woman, breaking her neck...
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The firefighters then said, and that is how politics between servies ends up, 1 dead woman, and 1 cat that ran away, shame shame shame. Then the MFS went back to their roast dinner meal waiting for another call, which came 35minutes later for a......
(Ive reached the stage of my life where I can drive a car on my own, write crude jokes and laugh at 12 year olds on a power trip in army cadets, it really is amusing reading those forums :-P )
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COQ to Klangadoo CFS station who were attending an out of control sparkler at the local.....
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Brothel. On arrival they had discovered that the incident was indeed of large magnitude, and the second in charge of Kalangadoo 34 had requested the COQ to ensure that...
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Kalangadoo and the surrounding area was adequetly covered by the likes of Station 20's entire staffing. Sadly this meant that
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No staff were left in Station 20, which was a shame because there was a contractor with an oxy torch in the old reserve bank building, who
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decided, for once to follow OH&S practices, so he put the oxy torch down. Then the noticed the shadow of a low flying plane headed straight for the
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airport runway, where it landed safely, before bursting a tyre, and hurtling uncontrollably towards a
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Hanger full of F111's already on their noses with no font wheels, It missed! And impacted the
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Huge shipment of nuclear and biological weapons that the US government had stored at Adelaide airport ready for deployment to Serbia. On impact, the shipment
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Wobbled slightly, moved a few inches and promptly spat the plane back out. As sunlight shone into the cockpit of the plane, the pilots body vanished! It was becuase
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The plane was a new top secret weapon used for aerial
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firebombing, that worked by vanishing fuel in front of the fire! On this particular day though, the plane had been
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at an air show. But this was all a dream and he woke up...
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at an air show. But this was all a dream and he woke up...
in a strange bed. Cautiously he looked at who was sleeping next to him and
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realised it was his sister which prompted her to scream in terror and then whack him in the groin with a giant.....
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Flower, I like flowers, they make me all
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sneezy and sometimes I
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cuddle them in an inappropriate fashion. This is due to
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my addiction to the SAFF forums where I
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enjoy taking threads way, way off track. Wait, thats not me, thats
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no one I know.
One day when I was busy posting on SAFF, my pager went off calling me out to a
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-"assist with the police" call...
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appalling grammar. Sadly it was fatal, due to
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enjoy taking threads way, way off track. Wait, thats not me, thats
(pity this wasnt the last sentence I could have made a cameo appearence, oh well)
"continuing sentence due to..."
..a tree that dropped his branch right on the old mans head as he was on his way to bingo on his gopher cart. the police were there as someone stole the old mans gopher cart, the thief got away but was recognised as....
edited a few spelling errors, some words got left out.
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someone who cannot construct a sentence correctly. For this, he was sentenced to
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Clean Public toilets with a toothbrush for 5 years. This upset him very much and he went crying home to...
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watch the football and then have a bbq to feel better. Everything was going perfect until...
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The BBQ caught fire
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Thankfully his neighbour was a firefighter with the local vollie briage, and she was damn hot too he thought. :wink: She came around to put out the fire and then they got talking about football, fires and how she absolutely hates it when...
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people put mushrooms on her pizza, but this is not important because there was a connection between them both, and the man, thought that it may have been to do with his dream because...
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he would dream that his kitchen caught fire and he was alseep and she
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would come over put it out then start another "fire" in the bedroom. He loved it when she would come in after fighting a fire all smokey and black. It was so good that he jned the local fire briagde himself, the name of the briagde was....
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Dunrootin.
Situated in between two mountains, it was a nice warm homely village.
The towns people were........
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friendly and nice, and always
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donated a lot of money to the fire service, who would then spend the money on
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ladies of the night, although the clean and respectable kind, not like the ones from
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Fugginorrible, they were infected with all kinds of diseases, their main customers were...
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PF and Manuel who had no shame but thats all in the past because now they...
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are respected members of the Dunrootin community.
PF and Manuel were out one day hydrant testing in Dunrootin 34 when out of nowhere..........
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all the hot chicks from the virginstill town came running towards the firetruck, seems they like men in uniform, especially firemen. Luckily both PF and Manuel left fugginorrible before the ladies fo the night became feral and disease ridden so these girls had nothing to worry about.
:-D
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When the women from Virginstill arrived at Dunrootin 34 and saw what PF actually looked like, they promptly ran away and
:P
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brought back more hotties for him "what a stud they all exclaimed." :-P
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All of a sudden, the radio cranked into life, asking Dunrootin 34 to respond to a grassfire on the edge of town, PF and Manuel now had to make a tough decision...
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"Do we respond to this grass fire or stay with the hotties?Alas their community mindedness overcame their night of pleasure and they hastily responded to
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the reported grass fire, which was actually a record attempt for the worlds largest BBQ (flame grilled ;) )
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Which had got way out of control, and looked to be the biggest fire in years. Being the brave and noble fire-fighters that they are, PF and Manuel didn't flinch at all, but
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before they could do anything about the flames the hotties had chased after them and tackled them to the ground for one mass.......
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...age of the feet and neck, before letting them get on with their real work of
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...age of the feet and neck, before letting them get on with their real work of...
Cooking Whats Left Of The BBQ, But Then In The Sky They Saw A...
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flock of birds circling and
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making a very strange noise. Both Manuel as P F looked at each other in amazement and...
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PF said, "I like you" and Manuel said "I like you too", then they
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decided that they should get married one day :-D
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to one (each) of the nice young women that were chasing them. They then made this story more interesting by
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(it was actually intresting)
talking about how Cfs_fiery became a moderator..
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"yes, how did CFS Firey become a moderator?"
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Manuel looked at PF and said "I think firefrog likes him alot". They then proceeded to...........
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Climb back onto Dunrootin 34 to continue their hydrant testing. To their great surprise, when they stopped at the next hydrant
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they discovered that the local council had covered it with 40mm of bitumen..... Muttering they
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They grabbed the chlorine and break fluid to blow that baby apart. They placed the home made bomb over the hydrant and.........
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ran a line of fire lighter fluid up the road, so they would be at a safe distance when they
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finally decided to let the bomb off, it made a huge BANG, and Manuel and P F were...
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amazed at how such a big bomb could create such little interest in the dunrootin community.
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The plate cover (and 40mm of bitumen) launched so high in the sky, that it hit a low flying Cessna.........
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182 which then hit low power lines and crashed into the roof of a house,bursting into flames on impact.....
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and setting fire to the house where a baby was sleeping. When the people of Dunrootin heard the noise,
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they cried out loud, and thought they were under attack by aleins. :| Anyway, The people of Dunrootin....
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immediately got in contact with A Current Affair who can sort out any problem. When the camera crews arrived,
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everyone they tried to talk to said "NO COMMENT" and not happy that they were not going to get the big breaking story about Dunrootin.....
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the camera man took vision of Manuel and PF walking down the road, and played it in slow motion to violin music. This showed that PF and Manuel were quite obviously the evil ones and
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were just practicing to blow up something bigger, for example the...
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Dunrootin public toilets, which
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were a famous landmark in the area. People always used the toilets to work out directions. Blowing up the toilet would have....
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also caused chaos to the local gang called "the back door bandits" as this was their local.............
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dumping grounds for...
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old newspapers and...
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magazines, ..
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but what kind of magazines.............
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the dirty kind...
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Fire Truck Porn! Pages of Naked Rear Ends and Sexy Beacons!
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and the occasional front mounted monitor showering something in foam. When the people of Dunrootin heard about this terror plot, they
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all ran down to the toilets to read the 100's of copies of fire truck porn
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but when they arrived, the fire truck porn was not there any more, it must have been...
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flushed away with the high pressure,
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lost forever in the depths of
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the dunrooting caves, which were thought to be haunted, so nobody went into them. But..
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one night local daredevil Ivana Rootpleez and her male counterpart Arseo Grabbenoli decided to take the biggest risk of their lives since having that night with that girl who might not have been a girl, but that is another story, they were on their way into the haunted caves....
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when their car's electrical shutdown and strange lights appeared in the sky.........
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the light came slowly towards them, and in a split second it...
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was past them, and vanishing into the distance. the electrics came back on, and
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all 4 tyres on the car blew out and the car........
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caught fire and started to fall apart. Luckily
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they managed to escape but they fell into the haunted caves...
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of Dunrootin. They fell and fell and
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fell and fell and fell and
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fell until they
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landed on something soft, but they bounced off it and continued to fall and fall and...
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fall and fall and fall and
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they finally came to a complete and utter stop, withought hurting themselves. They were afraid, really...
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really afraid, because they could hear what sounded like a banjo coming towards them from
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it must be what haunted the caves, but what was it?...
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Could it be, is it really....!
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A BANJO?!!! At that very moment it came into sight and
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it in fact was
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a guitar, oh no it is the horrible...
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guitar playing Virginstill CFS!!! :-o Ivana and Arseo immediately
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ran deeper into the caves and met up with Les Beeyan and said...
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"Hello Les, how are you?" and he said
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very well thankyou and you?
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"We are being chased by a guitar player who sounds like a banjo!" "Help us!" they pleaded...
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suddenly a voice over shouted "this sounds like a job for Blokeman"
'but I dont work sundas or me days off.'
Ivana Arseo and Les looked around and saw...
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metrosexual man, dressed in tight white clothes, he ran up to her like a girl, and she asked..
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metrosexual do you have
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any idea whats going on here???.... I think the fall
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knocked me unconscious cause all I could hear was the banjo playing which reminded him of this one time at bandcamp, I met this bloke from Kalangadoo.....
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who wanted me to donate a chainsaw to the local fire station and a man called.....
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oz_fire who was afraid anything progressive would hurt his brigades volunteer numbers and
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and a woman called firefroglett..
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who was so attractive that
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every man could not help but looking at her...
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unusually large and firm
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tits (oh i had to say it really i know you were all thinking about it) they were quite a sight, but what was more amazing about firefroglett was that she..
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was the best BBQ chef anyone had ever seen. When she was put in front of a BBQ, she could
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cook like a cook. But the point was they were still stuck in this haunted cave in dunrooten, and they were scaired, very very
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scared. Even metrosexual man was scared - but that wasn't unusual... He was always
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really scaired, because he had a bad experence as a child, which made him...
(and its metrosexual man)
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very afraid of the dunrootin caves. All of a sudden an SES volunteer
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came down a rope into the cave, but this was no ordinary SES person it was SESman, he was well known for...
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saving lives, and being able to operate 10 chainsaws at once! Today he was
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even juggling ten of them at once, what a man really, but like all SES people he was a little strange
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when it came to fire-fighting. So after doing a little juggling show for them, SESman proceeded to
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tell them they were being rescued from the haunted cave
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and that they had nothing to worry about except
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....but suddenly he was interrupted and the earth shook, they ran for cover, but there was none, they were stuck, stuck deep in the cave, the way was shut..
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THE END :-P
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OF THE FIRST CHAPTER
chapter two...
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begins with Manuel deciding he really ought to have some spelling lessons!
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because if we could not spell the captain would not let him....
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get the fire-fighter of the
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WORLD :-D...
(PS, I only spell bad because i rush and don't run the spell check that often)
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because he hadnt completed his annual percentage of training and that he could only be......
:-D
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the brigade's pizza driver and
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radio boy...
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Manuel died very suddenly when...
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the pizza car came around corner and he hit a
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koala, Which had been minding its own business sitting there doing some...
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homework!!! National Parks and Wildlife were out in a dash to...
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ascertain whether it was a koala or the elusive drop-bear that killed Manuel. What they discovered was it was in fact the Bundy Bear...
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who had been sitting in a bath with a red sock before going to the party to.......
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pick up girls who like men who wear pink. things went horribly wrong for ol' bndy when...
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he decided to go to an AA meeting and
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found lots of friends from the CFS at the meeting, but.....
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mean while down in the southeast camo and blinky got into his little red work car and went
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and ended up meeting one of the girls who's tent he fell on and she said her name was Inga from....
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Sweden. She had a nice
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a nice set of
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tits... in her aviary that she was goign to take to the show
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they were.....
(speaking of swedish girls, I got the swede for our formal this year :wink: )
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(oh lucky you)
..quite nice, but...
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were very loud when she
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turned on the radio and an announcement
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said sweish girls get a 10% discount on hotel rates if they have nice tits. This excited Karolina and Maria as...
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they were fake, and they only gave the 10% off for the real ones...
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but Fireman Sam said he didnt care because he rarely gets to see such fine beauty in the Doo as its so....
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overcrowded with drop bears that most Swedish beauties are scared away. Howver these two were not because
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someone who was Australian was very un-Australian because they told them that they were not true...
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but the un-Australian Australian was also a nufty and had advised them to run through the scrub without there...
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tent or trangia as it is very heavy and might not be needed until night time. Thry liked this idea but even better would to have been....
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running through naked :-P
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They decided to do it anyway, just to see how exciting it would be to run around naked but....... :-P
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it was cold and their...
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two minute noodles were cooked so instead they...
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sat down on the ground and ate it. both of them saw blokeman running through the forest and...
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looked at each other and said "wow he is so hot, I think that white guy is homosexual man, not metrosexual like he says. So they chased after blokeman and said..
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we love you blokeman...
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Blokeman looked at metrosexual man flipped him the bird and said "happy to be of assistance ladies, what needs doing, yourselves or a problem?"
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If any other man said that, a slap would follow, but...
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this was blokeman, a true blue aussie bogan who thinks about beer babes and v8 supercars. They thought it was cute and started to...
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rub his beer gut...
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while the Swedish hotties....
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danced around in joy
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meanwhile bundy bear was sneaking up, annoyed about missing the original party, blokeman had competition.
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bundy was in pink, that gets the girls...
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attention and they walk over saying
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oh bundy you are soooooo sexy and we want...
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you to drop bear down on us. Upon hearing this blokeman went up to the other swedish chick whom he found better looking anyway and started to...
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lick her all over :lol:
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(no were talking :lol: )
the swedish girls looked at each other and witha twinkle in their eye and an experimental though decided they should...
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get a room for PF and E
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(oh yea now we are really talking :|)
because...
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PF and E had joined in on this party and the Swedish hotties decided both were better than Bundy and BLokeman so they decided to get a room, PF took Karolina and E took Maria.
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grrrr, what is going to happen next E thought...
as PF and Maria left to find a cheep motel room, E was richer so he got to take his bitch to a hotel room,with full service.
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then PF looked at MAria and said, 'wait I chose Karolina!" HE then ran back to the expensive hotel room and walked in on E and KArolina doing...
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someting that is G rated in Sweeden...which is...
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cleaning as E was actually poor and had hired the hotel room on the promise that he and maria would work it off. Disgusted with her treatment, a huge bazooka of a dude named F. Iretruck ran and and swept maria off her feet, whisking her away to a life of riches and...
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snobs, she did not like this so went back to E. Meanwhile Pf and Karolina were out getting friendly. Fran Iretruck came back and said to MAria...
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filtered filtered filtered...
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this guy was a gentlemen so he didnt say swear words, said "filtered" Maria was impressed with his respect of not swearing in front of women so she...
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returned with that absolute cannon F. Iretruck to the bahamas where there were no snobs. One day, another another mindboggling and sleepless night of "pleasantries" she saw the limp, haggard body of E lying on the beach...
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"oh my god!" she screamed and went runnignover to him, being a trained life guard she immedialtely commenced mount to mouth resusciatiton. Unfortunately...
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E died. End chapt two
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jeez, you gave up quick
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said F truck I thought you were going to pull an all nighter there for a .....
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while, but you didnt, you only lasted ten seconds, and...
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then PF came back in saying well I did an all nighter, wheres E gone?
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At that moment the police came in with some bad news, they told them that...
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E had been snorting himself and went down to the beach to "relaaax maaaan" and had been taken by a shark. This was surprising because...
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E never went to the beach, and...
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it turned out that E had actually been snorting some of that AMI erection problem nasal spray. With his inflated sense of ego knowing that all his erection problems would soon be nigh, he entered a strange delirium where he could no longer remember what he was doing. In order to test how inflated his ego was, he did indeed go to the beach. It was here when he drowned and...
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died.
Anyway back in Dunrooten the public toilet was.
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still there because
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it was a solid thing and...
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no one had blown it up yet. This all changed when
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the Swedish girls...
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had to go use it. Inga had just laid a real corker and the other girl, who was in there chatting to her at the time, decided to light up a smoke. Well you can imagine what happened next!
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The other girl had never smoked before, so she started to cough and cough. Inga was so sure death was imminent that she...
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quickly called the fire brigade and they used their PPV to......
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make their truck go faster down the hill which led to
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a deep river...
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full of
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crocs :-D
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and then there was a volunteer doing the death roll with one and he said im going to to be ......
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squashed...
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but then he thought of aussie legend steve irwin and how he would deal with this scenario. He wrestled with the croc and survived. After telling this story to his mates at the bar he spotted two lovely young...
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chickens in a shop window, and these chickens were...
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finger licking good and only,
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available in dunrooten. PF said that these chickens were...
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up there with the best chick's he'd ever had, however the dunrootin burgers were not quite
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to the standard.
The sweedish girls were....
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most definetely up to the standard they were so good that...
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some people thought them to be gods, but...
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some people thought they were just sexy ladies and left it at that. After finishing their burger and chicken and hcips meal, the swedish girls left dunrootin and went to..
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the airport, to get on a plane to their homeland.
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Sweden was their destination, but then the plane was delayed by another bomb threat. They were waiting in the airport lounge when who should shiow up, none other than...
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the queen of england, and my god did she look sexy.
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Well you've certainly cocked that up sunshine.
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Well you've certainly cocked that up sunshine.
said a voice behind the queen. It turns out to be none other than probie_boy, on his way to destroy pain in the donkey terrorists. As he stormed onto the plane, he...
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noticed a little lady by the name of....
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what a minute! Thats not a lady its Manuel dressed up as a lady. While Probie had conflicting emotions over seeing a man dressed as a lady.
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Proby had a weird fetish so he liked this, and approached this ladyboy.
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and asked if she or is it he no wait she, err he confusing. He asked if the ladyboy would slit his wrists while listening to music about suicide. The ladyboy looked at him and said..
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do u want to have sex in the airplane toilet first??
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As soon as ladyboy said this PF burst in as a TAG team member there to destory the terrorists. First he shot the ladyboy then the terrorist as they threatened the pilot and what the ladyboy said to probie deserved a bullet, especially since probie started to look for vaseline!
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the vaseline was needed for him to clean out the inside of his gun barrel, as it was blocked. Probie then slapped PF on the back, and put an extra round into ladyboy, just to make sure it was dead. he then turned to PF and said...
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this story is really bad and i think they should close the thread...
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PF said what are you talking about probie this is a hostage situation. Later that evening there was a party for which all TAG Team, SAS, STAR and CFS members were invited too. No one knew why the CFS was invited except an unidentifiable soldier called Soldier XY2. He said the CFS were invited because...
(Well no one else is posting it is just us young people who have no sense of responsibility and make things more "interesting rather than serious things, anyway you brought this scenario up E :-P )